Wow I read the post back in September and I do sound very optimistic indeed. I was optimistic, I still am, however, I noticed I was trying to be while deep down I felt that anguish regarding Corona, that feeling of being trapped and isolated all at once. Although at the same time I do enjoy my own company, there was terrible news coming in waves daily. I was so used to that feeling that I managed to look on the bright side of things which is admirable. I mean, it takes more effort to look at the bright side of life than it does to be cynical and downtrodden. It is easy to give into the negativity bias that we are all built with. It is part of our survival mechanism - to scan for threats. If we don't acknowledge the negative thoughts, then they get louder! So yes, these thoughts are not true and it's time to challenge them.
A few things have happened since September 2020. I was doing really well until January hit and I have to say that the amount of deaths got to me. I was upset a lot about the state of affairs in the world. I was not only upset but the blatant disregard for human life was upsetting me. While I sat in January in what felt like the longest two weeks of greyness to appear in the sky over my head, I started going about figuring out how to move forward. I have always had an optimistic mindset. I was almost trained that way. Someone would say something critical and I would jump to say something to counter the argument and allow them to see the lighter side of life. This has its own pitfalls as the person doesn't feel heard and what we all want is to feel seen, heard and loved. I knew intellectually a lot of the mindset changes I could do and routines I could put in place although in January I was certainly feeling the darkness. I had such a disciplined mind studying and even in my previous workplaces too. I loved it. It's refreshing and enlivening to have goals and a focus. Some can tackle their own way of overcoming their own scepticism towards life, I like it my own way though!
I like to have a goal, I like to have something outside of work to keep me motivated and refreshed. It works both ways too, the more motivated I feel outside of work with things like marathon runs or currently triathlons, the more I feel settled in work and focused. I am currently signed up to do the 10 Freunde-Triathlon in September and I am so lucky that most of the same team are joining this time around. The optimism it takes in order to sign up for it and believe that by September the event will happen and also by Summer we'll be able to train in a pool.
While I have goals like this outside of work, I also have this joy for creating v-logs that I found last year when doing some v-logs as part of Java with Ali and we know the only way to get around those dark feelings is to find joy. I mean, everyone says it. I started Yoga with Adriene last year and the tagline is 'find what feels good'. I found what feels good by doing those v-logs and tutorials online as well as having fitness goals. In an effort to create more v-logs I started a channel. I love it. It brings me joy. I have so many ideas and I also love talking about topics like the Growth Mindset, Germany, life in Germany, learning German, culture similarities and differences as well as travelling and some very important sunrise and sunset time lapses. I do love waking up and watching the sunrise. There is something magic about that and capturing a certain moment in time with a camera. So a new channel is here, please like, share and subscribe if you want to see more. I love it. Here's the link if you'd like to join me on some things I am doing during Corona to keep my mindset in check - my 21 day challenge I invented and also potentially later on some travel v-logs once we are able to travel once more! Enjoy! Perhaps it might be a way to distract from all the bad news or maybe it's a way to join me on the things I am trying too... that's up to you! You do you! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQit3hSgZGkV2NUqvuNZyqg